[Technocelestia]

So I've been watching through Big Bang Theory with George. It has some problems, but overall I'm finding it quite entertaining. We're currently about halfway through the fourth season.

Amy was introduced not terribly long ago as a sort of "female Sheldon", so it's possible that I simply haven't seen enough of her to form an attachment to her character, but my initial reaction to her can be described by disappointment, at best. I've heard some people say that they find her to be an interesting character with dimension and agency, and, honestly, I don't see it. I feel like she's a flat stereotype.

Where, with Sheldon, his Aspie traits are played as parts to a whole character, I feel like with Amy, they're all she has to her. And, frankly, I find that a little insulting.

And, while I appreciate the idea behind "she sees no purpose to makeup" the overall effect (intended or not) is to cast her character as undesirable, since on film this makes her stand out in a way that feels like something's "wrong". And I feel like, as a person who shares some of her traits and who has had to deal with being treated as undesirable because of them, that the way this is handled adds insult to injury.

I can only hope that her character does improve by the time I catch up with the current air date, because as it is, I'm a little disappointed that people think this stereotype of a character is well-rounded.

I moderate a gaming chatroom. I see a lot of shit. Mountains of really crappy "jokes" made in an attempt to fit in with the community. Made under the pretense that people will respect you if you have the courage to say something controversial. The problem with that pretense, naturally, is that it's not all that controversial. These jokes are "safe" in that if someone tries to claim that they're offensive, that person is depicted to be in the wrong. So which is it, guys? Is it offensive and controversial, or isn't it? Are you actually taking a risk making those jokes? A risk that would merit the respect you seek? Or are you taking the easy way out? Conforming to what you think the group expects of you? You know. Since you always seem to claim that you don't ACTUALLY believe those things. They're just jokes, right?

We'll go with that for now. You can have the benefit of the doubt, and I'll assume you don't REALLY believe all those jokes you make. But you know what? There are people out there who do. I'm sure you've met them. I could probably name a regular or two in that chatroom I mentioned earlier who really, actually believe these things.(And if you're FROM said chatroom, I'd be willing to bet you could, too.) And there are probably more who've never outed themselves. Pick one. Any of them will do. Give yourself a concrete image of THAT PERSON. You know. The one who lives by those jokes, oblivious to the fact that they're supposed to be JOKES.

When you make those kinds of jokes. THAT PERSON thinks you agree with them. When you overreact to someone not liking your joke, claiming they're being too sensitive because it's obviously a joke? You're giving THAT PERSON a way to hide that they're not just joking. You're adding to the atmosphere that will assume that they're just joking, too. On top of that, you're making it harder to distinguish between the people who would never believe those things, and the people who do. And that has consequences for you. It means that fewer people are going to give you that benefit of the doubt. Because they can't tell if you're actually just joking, or if you're trying to hide being a jerk behind a joke like so many others do.

As for my experience. More often than not, it turns out that the person joking really is hiding hostilities behind the safety of "just joking". I can't speak for other groups that have jokes made about them. I can't even speak for all women. I can only speak for me. But as I understand it, I'm not alone. Nowhere close. I've been told "I'm just joking" or "I don't mean YOU" more times than I can count, only to later have this person demonstrate that their like or respect for women only lasts as long as the women in question conform to how they think women should act. And more often than not, this means never complaining about sexist jokes. Even better if they make the sexist jokes, themselves.

Maybe this doesn't seem like such a big deal to you. But it bothers some people. Indeed, it bothers a lot of people. Though a lot of these people get dismissed as per the "we only care about you if this doesn't bother you" mantra above. I wonder how many men would be upset if a group they wanted to be part of required them to make jokes about how men are idiots to fit in? I'm sure at least a few would.

Anyway. Joke on. But, please, do try to be aware of the context you're joking in. If it's an open forum, like a public chatroom, people may not know you well enough to be able to tell you from the assholes. Indeed, even your friends might not know you well enough. And please. If someone tries to tell you you're making them uncomfortable, try to consider that they might have reason to be, and that "HOW DARE YOU NOT ASSUME I'M JOKING" is a bit of an overreaction.

Was listening to a conversation recently where a guy stated his belief that "the father" should be informed of and allowed to attempt to change his partner's decision to have an abortion ("But the final decision still gets left to the woman, so it's okay, right?" Ugh...). I was neither in the mood nor a position to get into a discussion about why the government forcing such a thing is not okay.

First off, taking his comment in good faith that he was not intending any sort of malice, there's a huge underlying assumption here. An assumption that I wish I could say was based entirely in reality, but that is not the case. Namely, that every woman considering abortion is in a non-abusive, stable, and healthy relationship with "the father". That still doesn't make such a thing okay, but at least it wouldn't be potentially dangerous. Probably.

Sure, it'd be nice if everyone could be safe and comfortable discussing this personal health and life decision with her partner. And I want a magical ponycorn. It just isn't realistic. For many reasons. Some more obvious than others. For instance. "Let us track down this rapist and let him have his say on what he thinks you should do with your life before we'll let you make this decision." I can't be the only person who thinks that sounds like a bad idea. And then what of a woman who has multiple partners? Do they all get the "right" to be informed and have their say? Just because they could potentially be involved in the pregnancy? This doesn't really seem all that practical to me. How are you going to determine who the "father" is, anyway? Ask her? What if she doesn't know? Would we have to register a list of sex partners with the government? Is it really the government's business who I'm sleeping with?

You could try to say, perhaps, that this "right" should be restricted to a legal husband. What of the cases where the husband IS the rapist, or where the husband is abusive, and would use the pregnancy to further entangle his wife into being unable to escape his abuse? What then? Are you really advocating that this woman put her life in danger just so this asshole can have one more point of control over her life? Because you don't trust your partner enough to involve you in her decisions without government intervention?

Sorry, dude. I can understand wanting to know. But that doesn't mean you should have the right to know. I hope you're always in a relationship where there is mutual trust and open communication.

Dear asshole,

Your concern that some gay dude might be checking you out in the shower is noted. However, given that he's probably terrified that if someone thinks he might be checking out their junk, he will be assaulted or killed, your concern is largely unfounded.

As for your comparison to women being allowed to shower separately from men because "they're afraid some guy will check out their junk", I believe your reasoning is misplaced. It is far more likely that this discomfort comes from the fact that should a woman be assaulted in the shower by a man, she will subsequently be blamed for it, with that bullshit reasoning about how she shouldn't have been naked in front of men, doesn't she know they can't control themselves?

Also no, this reasoning does not extend to your hypothetical situation. What society do YOU live in where a gay man who assaults someone is excused with the reasoning "he couldn't help it, you should have known better than to shower with him"? Certainly not this one. However, if you were to assault him over that possibility, you bet your ass you'd be excused with "can you really blame him? That queer was looking at him funny."

So stop being an asshat and live with your awkward discomfort. Be thankful that it's not fear for your safety.

No love,
Me

*by which I mean things that at least one gay person I personally know enjoys (hey, it's a valid definition, right?)

Moderating an Internet Chatroom, I hear people use "gay" as an insult all the fucking time. It irritates me, and I get tired of having to tell them to stop. "No it's not okay. It wasn't okay yesterday and it's still not okay. No it's not okay if you use 'bisexual' as an insult instead. Just... stop it."

So, in response to that, I will now present a short list of things that are actually gay*.

Cooking
Drinking beer
Watching football
Growing a beard
Shaving a beard
Playing basketball
Singing
Hunting
Playing video games
Musical theatre
Snowmobiling
Water skiing
Computer programming
Art
Watching television
Being a vegetarian
Bacon
Antelope bacon
Setting things on fire
Ninja turtles
Naruto
Batman
Snow
Thunderstorms
Pickup trucks
Cake

...oh shit, guys! Everything's gay! What do? Oh! I know! Quit obsessing about it!

For those of you who do not follow my twitter or check Facebook regularly, I have wedding pictures up on the Facebooks. Yes, you will need a Facebook account to see them. You will also need to either be my friend or friends with someone else who is my friend.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

ETA: Or perhaps logging in is not necessary? Always wondered what those public album links did.

Stay at home, city boy.
With that television on.
Homes in better light.
Keep your mind off real life.
Oh stick to television!

I can make it, here in Hunger City!
Nothin's gonna stop me!
I know I'll survive!

I can take it, here in Hunger City!
Even though they'd eat me.
Just to stay alive!
Hunger City!!

Awooooo!

So the day falls in to night.
And you slide down in your easy chair.
Blue cosmetic eyes.
Are beamed to you by satellite.
Call you to the shelter.

I can make it, here in Hunger City!
Nothin's gonna stop me!
I know I'll survive!

I can take it, here in Hunger City!
Even though they'd eat me.
Just to stay alive!
Hunger City!!

Awooooo!

I can make it, here in Hunger City!
Even though they'd eat me.
Just to stay alive!
Hunger City!!

Like a poison lullaby.
The pump pump pump inside your head.
Momma's pride and joy.
Slithers down the drain instead.
Fast food for the mutants!

I can make it, here in Hunger City!
Nothin's gonna stop me!
I know I'll survive!

I can take it, here in Hunger City!
Even though they'd eat me.
Just to stay alive!
Hunger City!!

In Hunger City!
Awooooo!
Hunger City!

Holy crap! I managed to fit just about everything for CON into two bags! This includes both pairs of boots and my platform shoes. I still have my purse, laptop bag, and a blanket, too, but the majority of my stuff is in the bags. I'm rather proud of that. Even though I'm sure it sounds scary on the surface.

Yaaay! CON!

Because I have little to do at the moment, because I haven't gotten approval for my thesis yet. I'm bored.

So.

I've found my fabric and my patterns, and I'll be starting on Julia tomorrow.

The red fabric I have is a little too blue, but it should still be acceptable.

So much fucking word.

http://xkcd.com/567/

I don't normally post videos, but I figured I'd make an exception for this one.
( Oprah's back here. )

I am... making a lot of cheesecake. Why?

Because George wants to give cheesecake as holiday gifts to his neighbors who let him borrow their scaffolding for the house and also to his friend who helped with the re-siding and such.

Naturally, cheesecake cannot be made without making an extra one so he can eat it.

So. I am making CheesecakeX3. Because "I want to make cheesecake for so and so" really means "I want you to make cheesecake, but I'll help you if you tell me exactly what to do."

Maybe, if I let him do enough, he'll be confident enough to make one himself without me there. Maybe to give to me. Someday.

Why can't he want to give people cookies like normal people? "But, but... they gave ME cookies last year! I can't give them cookies!" "Um... yes, you can. I think that they're probably expecting cookies, honestly."

Anyway, Christmas was awesome this year. More on that later.

Dammit, George! Ninja Turtles porn does NOT go on my desktop.